Thais Meditation
Today is another Hot day and I was on my way to Seafood Port to pick up my lunch.... I put on one of my Hollywood bowl CDs that I purchased many moons ago and I was listening to "flight of the bumble bees" performed by Michael Rabin. Exciting and fast, I forgot how hot it was as I went to pick up my fish... I got it to go so I can eat it in the office.
On the way back, "Flight of the bumble bees" was over and the next track came on. It was "Thais Meditation" composed by Jules Massenet..... Also with Michael Rabin(My Favorite violinist). As I was listening I fell into a short but deep meditation. I forgot about the back pain and I forgot about the weather. I even forgot about the fish.... I was focusing more on my lack of discipline.... All the things that I aim to do and all the madness that is clouding my mind.... Than I thought about God. My poor dedication to HIM.... My selfish agendas in life. My lack of rest upon him.... It baffles me that I a "Saved Christian" shifted my focus away from God so easily. I am but a helpless sinner.... But the meditation went back to Christ and his work on the cross. As the song finished I sat in my car for about 15 minutes thinking about how I am such a schmuck.
I know that I don't live in the 15th century anymore.... But I can't seem to help it but feel my duty as a man deteriorating... I need to lead Lisa. But I am so selfish. I am so weak. I am so lazy.... I came in and finished my soggy fish that has been roasting in my car. I was all sweaty and bothered.... As I chomped away on this soggy fish, I came to a conclusion that I need to start a devotional with Lisa.
So tonight I am gonna read the word and discuss with Lisa about it. I am gonna be proactive about worshipping together. I am gonna attend church together with Lisa, at least once a month and worship together.
Because in my meditation, I realized that without Christ, my relationship with Lisa is meaningless.
I was becoming that clown that I always clowned in the past... I am a man and I need to do my duty as a man.. Not be led by emotions, but be led by the faith in Him.
Only He give me peace. No one else.
Only He can. No one else.
I was reminded again..
That famous line from "confessions of St. Augustine"
Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You
Sometimes I wonder how many times must I be reminded of that statement.... Before I apply it in my life and rest my heart upon Him....
