Death

I know it is a burn blogging about such a horrible thing but I must. My plans for today was to goto bible study and go to K- town to meet up with my friend Laura Yoon. Laura is my dong seng from back in the day and she came from back for 3 days from Korea... So as I was leaving and checked my message and it was Laura. She left a very sad message. One of her friends died tonight and she was in great pain. I called her and she was crying and said "I am sorry.... I will meet up with you next time I am here. I felt her pain.... I remember when my best girlfriend from college died. Julia Shin was her name. We were the same major and we both had the same goals and dream in life... We promised that we were going tyo make a movie together. But one day she passed away in her sleep. I came back from a wedding and I felt weird. Julia always left a message on Sundays but not that day. Later I got a message from my friend and Julia was gone. She had seizures in her sleep. In fact I remember her crying and telling me how scared she was. I remember the agony and the pain that I felt when Julia left. I remember how empty everything felt. Right now Laura must be having such a hard time. One of the great thing s about Christianity's teaching is that "to die is to gain". There is the justifcation. When I die, I know where I am going. That is a good feeling. I just pray that Laura understands that also.... I Hope that Laura will one day understand the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. In Christ, dying is all good. Though it hurts still when I think about Julia, it's cool. I know I will see her again one day.

Monkeying Around AT Home....


I've been working out of my home today... Pretty nice I must say. I was feeling somewhat ill and my grandmother came over and made me Sam Ge Tang... Yummy.

Funny thing happened yesterday. I knew that Joanne was going out on a blind date at Starbucks in Cerritos town center. So Al and I met for our "Secret Project" meeting at Starbucks across the street from the Cerritos mall. So I waited for him at Starbucks and hung out with Andy Lee for a while. I went to pick up Al and came back the the Starbucks and who do I run into? Joanne and her blind date. Ha ha ha ha pretty funny. It must have been awkward for her. But I stayed out of sight. You've heard of 6 degrees of seprations among Koreans. It turns out that Al knew Joanne's date. It is a small worlds that we live in and we are all little performing monkeys in the Circus called life......

P.S. Secret project was awesome last night....

BYC Underwear

This is a sad story about your favorite, humble blogger and why he now wears boxers instead on Tightee Whitees.....

If you are Korean, there is no way that you do not know the powerful Brand name in underwear, BYC.(they also make great socks) My mother, just like all the other Korean mothers always bought BYC underwear for me when I was younger. For some reason BYC was going through some funky times in the early 90's. They became really wild with funky colors and lines going through them. My mother came back from Korea and bought a whole bunch of BYC undies from Do KKae Bi Shi-Jang(Direct translation = Demon Flee Market). She always bought tightee whitees in the past but this time it was Miami South Beach style. It was awful. But it was underwear and I did not care. But one day......

I went to high school and it was lunch time. I was talking with a girl and my buddy Ronny DeBartelomis pantsed me! Right in the middle of the Senior Quad. I usually would not care but I forgot that I was wearing the new BYC...... People were laughing. The girl said "Those are some sexy undies". Oh the misery..... I curse BYC and Ronny for that day. In college this would have been cool(I wore far worse), but I was in High School. Before I was comfortable with my nakedness.....


Settle down girls. I got this picture from BYC website. My undee was far worse than this. How embarrasing....

Death of a Great Man

When I first came to the US, WHich shows did I watch? Sesame Street and Mr.Rogers.... Mr. Rogers died. My first painful years came back to me as I heard the news. I blogged about my first years in the US earlier in my blogging days. My aunt thought it would be a good idea to watch Mr. Rogers to learn english. I was already too old to watch Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. But I actually enjoyed Mr. Rogers neighborhood. It is too bad that they don't have show like his anymore.... It has been replaced with sadistic cartoons and horrible shows with awful costumes like Barney or even worse.....Teletubies. I will miss his show and his red sweater. A real human being teaching kids for 30 years. Not some clown in a clown outfit. No Banana in Pajama..... Definition of a good man showing kids morals and values.

So for the final time..... It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?...

Rest in peace Mr. Rogers.... Rest in peace.

Changes

Today i felt ill and came home early from work.....
I stopped by the Bucks and to my wonderful surprise I saw my friend's younger sister from High School. We were chit chattin a little. Since I was not feeling too good, I wanted to go home. To end the conversation I asked A question and *POW*. The Bomb went off.

Here is the conversation..

Me: Are you dating anyone?
Her: Yeah, for a while now...
Me: Great, is it serious?
Her: Yeah, I think so.
Me: Someone I know?
Her: No. I don't think so.
Me: WHat does HE do?
Her: SHE works in Anaheim.
!!!!KABOOM!!!!!


I froze.... Even my facial expression froze. She became a DYKE. I mean who knew? Than I started to notice her masculinity. Her laguage, body gestures, clothes... It all resembled a man! I was shocked. She started laughing. Even her laughter was big manly Laugh.... And her hair was all butched up. I've known many lesbians before..... but Duffy's little sister! I hooked Duffy up with his wife for heaven sake! I knew their family! Things change... SO they say. This is a mad, mad, mad world we live in.

My Boss

Dr. Fou-Sen Chang

This morning my boss shared a story with after a mini-sales meeting. He told me how he became a Christian.

Fou-Sen: I became a Christian my 1st year in college. Before that I was one of the biggest anti-christians. I believed in science. I hated all forms of religion. I hated that most of the Chinese around me were so superstitious with Buddhism, and Taoism, and God knows what.... But I felt like I was one of the elites that were going to get China and Taiwan Out of poverty by science. But along came with the western thought, the western superstition..... Christianity. So for about 2 1/2 years I argued with Christians all the time. I thought that some of my friends were influnced by the western science and their relilgion was part of it. To battle the Christians in debates, I read the bible 10 times.... Cover to cover looking for mistakes and flaws.

Jung: You couldn't find any?

Fou-Sen: No I found some... Like when Jacob went to Egypt and...(some thing about number 70 and 72) (I had no idea what he was talking about) . Some insignificant flaws... So I thought to myself, I got'em...

Jung: Hahahaha

Fou-Sen: But one day I was arguing and one of my friends said to me... "since we will not get anywhere by arguing, How about we do this. We will do a role reversal. I will read the bible as a non-believer, and you(Fou-Sen) read the bible as a beliver and see what kind of a argument that we can have". I agreed... As I was reading it again with an open mind I saw it in a different light. When I came to Romans Chapter 7.... It was the part about being wretched and not baing able to do what I want to do and doing thing I don't want to do, and how only in Christ we can do thing that are righteous, I was crying. I confessed my sins and here I am forty some years later."

As I was listening to my boss this morning in his Chinese accent, I was extremely blessed and thankful. I was so thankful that my boss is a brother in Christ. It was awesome. Don't you wish you had a boss like mine? Sometimes I am so blind to all the greatness that surround me.

Evil.....

I am feeling paticularly evil today. What can I say..... In this crazy world we live in, ANYTHING is posible. I feel like I got hit with a bat over my head. *WAM* I am seeing stars. Well In this crazy world of geometric figures, love and hate, I shouldn't be surprised by anything. All the secrets and madness that fill up my life...... But I am in awe of the event that I would like to call "meat pattie between the buns". This is really off the charts. It is amazing how we see things in different perpectives. For instance some one could think that Sushi is nasty. So many people think it is so great. I could think that some chick could be wacked, and others could think that she is the hottest thing ever. I am probably making no sense to anyone right now. And that is where I will leave it. All I can say is that we need a miracle to happen soon. The wonderful miraculous event that would straighten things out. I can't handle another surprise again. Talking about miracles...... I have a friend who was losing hair. But he took Propcia and BAM! His hair came back. Amazing. It is going to take that kind of miracle in order to get back to normal. Like how it used to be back in the days. I was not a believer of super natural events such as that, but I am a witness and I can testify to the miracle....Click on bottom picture if you are losing hair.

Rainy days and Mondays....Always makes me laugh
Now that everything turned from tragedy to comedy, I feel that it is time to blog on a regular basis again. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get to work this morning. I think I saw 5-6 accidents on the freeway. I hate driving in the rain. Last night was cool. I watched a movie while the rain was pooring. I watched Federico Fellini's 8 1/2. I wanted to get inspired. I wanted to watch a compelling film. There was an intersting progress with my first "Secret Project" yesterday. I did not have a meeting with Al, but some interesting ideas came up. It was a cool little idea. So maybe we can procede with it. It led me to watch one of the masterpieces. Though I can't really recommened this movie to everyone, I can definitely recommend it to those who have a interst in foreign films. It is a good one folks.


As for the Operation Bear Trap Progress....It has halted but maybe not?
Here is a thought..... If anyone is feeling tired and want to wake up quick, pick your belly button and smell your finger afterwards....

Another Chapter Closed

What can I say…. What I am about to blog is probably the hardest blog I have ever written. It goes way back to when I was just a youngster in college. My friend Julia brought her friend to school. This friend of hers was a beautiful young thing and I must say, I was completely swept up by her. I developed this HUGE crush on her. I felt like I was in Junior High school. Apparently this person and I go way back to when we were kids. I went to Big Bear with her when we were kids. I had no idea. I found out when I was looking at her album and ther I was. I thought "this is destiny!" So after getting to know her better, we became friends. I wanted our relationship to be so much more than friends…. But unfortunately she did not see me that way. Isn’t it funny that you always want what you can’t have? I really acted out of my character for this woman.

I was really good friends with Julia and that made me and the girl better friends. But unfortunately God took away Julia from this world in her sleep. That was a devastating moment of my life. I was such good friends with Julia that I did not know how to react. But some of us who were close friends with Julia really got close together and relied on each other for support. This is when I really got closer to the girl.

When I revealed to her how I felt, she let me down easy. I fell into a trap after that. I tried everything to please her. But nothing worked. So I decided “forget it” and we will just be friends. Actually it was good. I liked being her friend. I also took a lot of crap from her. But still I did everything in my power to make her happy. But here is the kicker. She started seeing this guy and her relationship with her boyfriend started getting much more serious. Since I was sure that I was over her, I was happy for her. He really is a nice guy so I was pleased……

Couple of weeks ago I get a phone call from the boyfriend and he invited me to the girl’s birthday party. I said “I will be there”. He insisted that I have to be there. He told me that he was going to propose to her. I was shocked at first. But also happy that he really wanted me there. But this past week I was depressed all week. I was trying to prepare myself for this crazy thing that was to happen. As some of you know, I was not myself all week.

On Saturday after Joe Lim’s wedding, I went to a place called Brass Monkey. It was a Karaoke Bar. It was infested with people and everyone was having a good time except me. I was scared to see what was going to happen. Her boyfriend came in with an Elvis costume and sang “I can’t help falling in love with you”. It was really great actually. After he sang the song and sang happy birthday, he got on his knees and proposed to her. She was in cloud 9. I have never seen her that happy. Everyone was screaming in joy. She said YES….. I realized at that moment that nothing that I ever did or ever could do can make her that happy…… I was caught up in that moment and acted as if I was happy for them. I genuinely was happy for them. But actually I was overwhelmed by my emotion. I just went out to smoke. It was probably the most bitter cigarette I ever had. As I smoked away slowly, I realized that it was another chapter that was closed in my life. I thought to myself “I would have done anything for her…” But it was not enough. As I salked in misery, I came to a realization that I was being stupid. But it was really hard for me to accept that this girl was the one that got away. I am not sure how long this will affect me.

But today is a new day and a new week. I thank God for bringing the girl a guy that can make her so much happier than me. I could not get the job done... Oh well. So I go on finally, to the next advanture. Whoever and whereever my next interst is, I will not allow you to get away from me.....

Also, I would like to thank everyone who was there for me when I needed them. You know who you are. You guys rock. You guys made me feel special.