Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Though it seems like I might be mad, frustrated, and pissed off about work, I am actually pretty thankful. I know it may not seem like it. But I am. I took a day off yesterday and that was pretty nice. I still dislike what is going on at work and I am worried about the whole situation, I am gonna be ok... I think. So for all those who are concerned about me, thank you. Yesterday was pretty cool. I needed a day off. I am sure I would have been pretty pissed about the fact that I was at work yesterday. So today I came to work with a new attitude, but it did not make a difference. I came into 3 frustrating issues the minute I got back to work. Strange how things find a way to get muffed up. But they do. I am not too happy about some situations. Well too make the long story short, here is what I realized. I must practice what I preach. For one I am always trying to motivate my friends when they are down. I always say that God has a plan and that should be comforting enough. But I realize that I am not comforted by that. I am not comforted by the thought that God is in control. In theory it is a very comforting thought. But when everything is going wrong, it sucks. I can't find a way to make that statement work. I am such the weak fool. But I do see that many thing has a way of working themselves out. I gotta rely on the Fact that God will work things out. I am gonna tell you the truth. I don't like that. I find it impossible at times be happy with what I have been dealt. But like I said, I know that He is in control. It's like an Oxymoron. A paradox. More and more I feel that God is braking me down, but more and more I am not listening. I am a fool.