I was hearing out Lisa and the advices that were given to her by her peers... Some of them were very good advices and some of them so damn dramatic!
One of the advices that Lisa got from a guy who is married is that before you get married, you should be.. You have to be critical with the person that one is dating. I absolutely agree!
But one thing that I don't agree with is this advice that was bestowed upon her from females friends that are married.
"One must come with terms that one never changes. and she must come to ask herself whether she could live with it or not!"
For example, a man might have a terrible habit of rolling his socks to take it off and the wife might not like that... They might have discussions or even fights about it. The man might promise to do better... yet the socks is still rolled and the wife might have to come to grips that he will roll his socks for da rest of his life....
In things like this, I do agree that she might have to ask herself this drmatic question....
Sujin(my pastor's wife) was in absolute agreement with this theory of asking yourself whether you can live with it or not. She even went as far to say that you should immediately dump the person if you come to conclusion that you can't live with it.
Here is my trouble with Da statement. Such questioning never gives room for change and improvement...
One might not improve 100%, but one can give effort. Right? and that is commendable... No?
People can change. When I face confrontations, I ask what can I do to make this situation better. If I see something that I dislike in my girlfriend, I do NOT ask if I can live with it for rest of my life. I ask what can I do to understand where she comes from. And how can I help to improve. Cause we do not live in an absolute world. Other than da word of God and certain truths, rest is hazy...
I am willing to give efforts. Cause change occur in our lives whether we like it or not. So why not change to please the significant other?
Are you the same person that you were 10 years ago?