It is strange to me how weather has been so different. Hot one day and Cool the next... It reminds me of Hoon's love for me. Such Byun-Duk-Jeng-Ee.... hahaha. Just kidding Hoon. Today I want to to talk about insecurities. Yesterday I was talking with Pastor Jin about my relationship with Lisa. Difficulty of it and the greatness of it. One of the things that he asked me was this. Where is you commitment level? I told him that I am really digging deep to give it all into this relationship. Jin shared something with me. He saids in his wisdom, something along the lines of Men are more likely to be commitment-phobic than women. I think on the back of most men's minds are always a thought of "I can do better." This is what I mean by byun-duk-jeng-ee. I've seen people get destroyed when the relationship ends. I too have had my heart served on a platter. But when things are going well, men just have a hard time committing themselves. But they also don't want to lose what they have. They want the cake and eat it too. Well I can say that I don't really have that issue. I truly feel that when I am commited to someone, than that is it. No wondering in my head about anything better or what not. Maybe I trust people too much. But I can't imagine why anyone would go into something as hard as a relationship without commitment. Casue any relationship is a commitment. Whether it is a friendship or romantic.
I can say this with confidence. I truely feel that whatever happened in the past is irrelevent. It is what happenes during rlationship that matter. But to have thoughts of "I can do better" is just horrible. It makes me question a person's character. So for all those who are afraid of commitment, end it before it leads to madness. Also grow up.