epiphany
Monday night football was cool. I watched it with Hoon, Mha, Dha, and Edwin. Everyone is way too into fantasy. I don't think this is healthy. I lost in Fantasy to Mike Ha. On Sunday's sermon, Pastor Jin brought up the whole issue about things that are more important than God. I must say there was a conviction there. I am a classic basket case sinner. A classic case of a weak sauce Christian. I rely on Christ only when I need Him. I forget him soon after that. I am a walking contradiction when it comes to what I should be vs. what I am. I am one of those dummies that learn the hard way. I feel like I've been ignoring God's calling to me. Whatever it might be. I can see that sin is having a bigger role in my life. I am being more cruel towards my friends. And I am letting my sins slide. I am not sick to my stomach when I realize that I sin. I just say oh well.... I will do better next time. BAD! I am realizing the old famous Cliché "that I need to be pro-active with my life when asking God to change my ways." applies so much to me. I can't just ask God to change me and have no action plan. I can't just ask God for this that and the other without really trying to acheieve what I am asking for. A good example is "God bring me a hottie!" I see at least 2-3 hotties a day where ever I go. But what do I do about it.... May be this is a bad example. Anyways you get the point. I need God to open my eyes again to the sick and twisted world that I live in. I need God to show me my own ugly heart. I need to be scared straight. I need to really understand what it means to fear the Lord. I need to understand that God is Da Boss. I need to kill my pride. I need to understand more than the saving grace. I need to know what it means to be a Christian to the truest sense of the word. Being Christ-like. cause i am not. Not at any point of the day or night. I need to be wise about where I put myself. I need to stop with my chauvinistic ways.(this is gonna be really hard)..........
baby steps? naw. I need to make one of those Carl lewis long jumps towards God. I need to depend on Jesus as much as a newborn does to their mothers. Well I am confident that God will look out for me. Good looking out G!
Fantasy sports is just another idol that I have in my life. I have many idols God needs to flush out. I hope I that never ever get to a point where I put fantasy sports above God. Just healthy fun with my friends. None of this boast about my teams or players. I participated in that crap last night with my brothers in christ. Boasting I will beat you and my players are da bomb. Though it is mostly in fun, I can see that it is not about just having fun. It is more about Me beating you. Or you beating me. Not in jest or fun. But in a nasty "I am better than you" attitude. Some of you might be reading this and saying that I do that the most. I probably do. That is why I am writing this. Can you imagine if I prayed to God "God let me win in fantasy football" that would be a joke. Don't worry. I never prayed to God for me to win in Fantasy sports. But I am worried about my sinful tentencies and my prideful behavior. Why do I have these childlike manners about me. I will be 30 in 2 years for heaven sake!
